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Genuine Curiosity

Author Dwayne Melancon is always on the lookout for new things to learn. An ecclectic collection of postings on personal productivity, travel, good books, gadgets, leadership & management, and many other things.

 

Take note (but no Moleskine for me)

Michael Hyatt has some thoughts on taking notes on Working Smart right now and, while I agree with most of his advice, I have my own variations on note taking techniques. Specifically, I disagree with his choice of notebook. Like Michael, I tried (and loved) the Moleskine notebook, but it didn't work for me as a note taking implement (though it is perfect as a journal or diary).

My favored technique was inspired by David Allen's use of legal pads, which allowed him to tear things off and put them in "In." Here is what I do:

I carry around a spiral notebook with micro-perforated pages, and take all my notes in there (here's a grainy Treo 600 snapshot of mine).

I prefer notebooks by a company called "Notebound" because they are cheap and durable, but look professional enough for a high-level business meeting. They also have a plastic pocket inside, which is good for stashing a couple of business cards and to serve as a traveling inbox when I don't have my red folder with me. I can also put temporary things like directions, etc. that I've printed out to help me get where I'm going. I can find these at Walgreen's for around $5 for the 10.5" x 8.5" size (120 or 160 page versions are available).

Here's where these are different from those beautiful Moleskine's: As I process the pages, I can tear them out and a) discard them, b) put the action items into my Outlook task list, c) file them, d) hand them off to someone else.

When I take notes, it's just for taking notes - so this process works for me. It means that I don't carry around a bunch of old notes that I will probably never read, and since I tear out pages as I process them I can see at a glance how much needs to be processed.

When I have notes I *do* want to retain in their original form, I can file them just like I would file any other piece of paper. More often than not, I need to summarize the outcomes of meetings in an email to other people and I use that opportunity to distill the meeting down to its core elements, then file that in my electronic filing system (which I can search easily with Lookout).

How do you deal with notes?

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The accidental commitment

I've been involved in a number of situations recently (in fact, I am responsible for creating some of them) in which commitments were made or implied out of politeness. Being polite is a good thing, of course, but politely taking on a commitment you really shouldn't have made brings trouble.

Whether you call it politeness, civility, diplomacy, or something else, I'm beginning to realize that I've been allowing politeness to trump more important values like integrity and passion.

Some of this is due to conflict avoidance, some due to the inconvenience factor or the desire to be liked. In essence, it ends up being 'conflict deferral.' 

For me, none of these commitments are disastrous but it still bugs me that I have a habit of making or implying commitments that I later regret. Obviously, this is not all that helpful to me or the folks on the other end of the commitment.

This is an insidious thing - seems so innocent at the time, seems so painful downstream. I am now resolving to be more aware of the commitments I make so I can be true to my own integrity. Now, I just need to come up with some triggers or reminders to help me recognize when I've crossed the line, so I can take some preventive action.

What about you? Ever have issues with this? How do you catch yourself in the act? I'd love to hear your stories - especially if you have some solutions.

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Take responsibility for your own well-being

Earlier this week, I talked about pretending you create everything that happens to you as an approach to break out of unproductive loops when you feel victimized by things outside your control.

In a conversation I had last night, I was reminded that there is more to it than coming up with options. You have to be willing to do something - take a different action - to change your current situation.

I often encourage (prod?) my kids to "take responsibility for your own well-being." That can be a hard thing to do, particularly if the inhibitor you're dealing with is your ego or sense of security.

When I'm dealing with my own internal struggles, I have found that creating a forcing event or external commitment works pretty well to get me through it. I am also getting better at asking people for help.

It's tougher when I'm acting as a coach to someone else - in spite of logic, common sense, etc. the ego and sense of self-preservation often make it more attractive for people to stick with the status quo.

I try to help people talk through the issues, and offer to help when they are ready to move to the next step. It doesn't always work.

What do you do in those situations? I'd love to hear about what's in your toolkit.

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Pretend you create everything that happens to you

Are you familiar with victim mentality? I was talking to someone the other day who epitomized it - no matter what the topic, he claimed that other people were to blame for all of his problems. I tried all my voodoo about envisioning how it could be different, taking responsibility for your own well being, and all that jazz. Nothin' doin'.

This episode prompted a nice little flashback for me:

I was hanging out with an ex-Microsoft guy named Jim McCarthy about 10 years ago at a software development bootcamp, and he threw something out that has stuck with me to this day.

Jim used this notion of "trying on beliefs" a lot, which means you basically pretend that you believe something even though you may not. Sort of like putting yourself in the other guy's shoes.

Anyway, one of the beliefs he'd get people to try on was to "Pretend that you create everything that happens to you. When you find yourself in a situation you don't like, ask yourself what you did to make it happen to you."

If you flip your perspective on its head, you can inevitably come up with something in the past that contributed to your undesirable present. And, more than likely, you can think of something you could've done differently that might have prevented it.

OK, you ask, how does that help me now? For some people, it may not. For others, it might put you in a reflective mood, and you may be able to get to the next step:

Ask yourself what you can do today that will
a) keep it from getting any worse;
b) make up for the past error;
c) make it better

There's almost always something, but it's hard to see unless you look at the problem from a different perspective.

Got problems? Go ahead - try on the belief. Pretend you create everything that happens to you...

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Copyright 2005-2015 Dwayne A. Melancon, all rights reserved. Licensed under Creative Commons - see the "About the Author" page for details.