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Genuine Curiosity

Author Dwayne Melancon is always on the lookout for new things to learn. An ecclectic collection of postings on personal productivity, travel, good books, gadgets, leadership & management, and many other things.

 

Management without emotion? Or management with only "approved" emotions?

Like millions of other people in the US, I watched The Apprentice last night.  It was the end of the season, where Donald Trump actually hires his apprentice.

One thing that bugged me was how much criticism Kendra, one of the final two, received for crying in the boardroom on the previous episode.  Trump kept talking about how he didn't like crying, making "even though you cried..." remarks, and things like that.

While I think it's important and professional to have control over your emotions, I think there are appropriate times to share your emotions as a manager or a leader.  In Kendra's case, she was overcome by the emotion of having a team come together and help her win a task - a team made up of people she'd had disagreements with in the past.  She was touched and grateful, and I thought her emotions were appropriate. And hey - I'm sure we've all been there at the end of projects, when you're worn out and your emotions are pretty close to the surface.

At one point, Trump asked Kendra if she thought her crying was a sign of weakness.  Her response was a good one; that she'd seen 300 lb. football players crying as they held up SuperBowl trophies.

I've seen displays of emotion from my managers and leaders before - not a common occurrence, for sure, but it's definitely happened.  Did I see these emotional moments as a sign of weakness?  Not in any case I can recall.  In each case I've experienced, it was a sign of humanity - of being "real."

Oh, yeah - Trump hired Kendra anyway, and recanted saying her crying was OK.  But I think his first reaction is probably fairly representative of the attitudes throughout the corporate world.

What about you - what have you experienced?
What are the "approved emotions" where you work?

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Blogging the light fantastic

Much has been written about blogs, their relevance, their power, and their reach.  This weekend, I've found some excellent commentary by bloggers themselves.  Here are a few examples:


When it comes to business blogs, I tend to gravitate more toward blogs that talk about real life situations and promote the exchange of ideas, opinions, tips, tricks, etc.  These blogs often promote or recommend specific products and services, but all within a "wrapper" that helps others learn. I prefer this approach over single-product blogs that feel more like infomercials.


Some people have been very effective in providing blogs that I classify as "helpful information" that don't feel self-serving, while still promoting their own products and companies.  In these cases, I don't mind because they really feel like "value added" providers.  One example is the blog of ActiveWords CEO Buzz Bruggeman - he talks about ActiveWords, but provides a ton of valuable information that is outside of his company's product.


I know this will continue to evolve, and we'll all reap the benefits of business blogging.  As I look back on the last 20 years, things have certainly changed.




  • 20 years ago, I was connecting to Compuserve on a 300 baud modem using a Wyse terminal. It was slow, but there was very  effective information exchange for professionals.
  • 10 years ago, I had begun to surf the web looking for product and company information, but my primary information source was still using Compuserve (using OzCIS as a frontend, and connecting at higher speeds). I remember thinking that PointCast and newsbots were new and cool.
  • 5 years ago, I was using web-based online discussion groups and user forums as a way to gather business information.  I also started using a lot of listserv subscriptions to have information pushed to me as it became available.
  • Now, I have unsubscribed from most of my email lists, and I use RSS and blogs to gather information that is relevant to me. I exchange information through Yahoo and Google groups, and my company uses Wiki and Sharepoint to exchange information internally.
I like where things are now, and where they are heading. The "pull" approach of blogging has so many advantages over our spam-filled inboxes, and I think that will continue to be a key differentiator over other methods.  But now, the debate about ads in RSS feeds is picking up speed.  It's always something.

Who knows what blogging will be like in the next 20 years?  Not me, but I can hardly wait to find out.

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Update: 30+ Weeks in the Zone (and counting...)

From a traffic perspective, the post below is one of the most popular posts on this blog. I had to get new "head shot" pictures taken for work today, and thought I'd share the "before" and "after" photos with you. A bit less hair, a lot less weight.

Before (2001): After (2005):

I'm now almost a year into The Zone diet, down about 60 pounds from where I started (now at 206 lbs), and still loving the diet. And it's still true that I made no changes to my exercise habits during this period - in fact, I was working out more in 2001 when the "before" picture was taken.

You can do it, too. See below for my recommended steps.

[March 14, 2005] This is a departure from my normal range of topics but one I want to share, nonetheless. Last July or so, I decided it was time to start eating better. In the past, I've had bouts with "Eat To Live," "Protein Power," and spent a while as a disciple of the Atkins lifestyle. None of them really felt sustainable over the long haul (at least for me), and they were hard to maintain while traveling.

Last year, I read up on The Zone Diet (Dr. Barry Sears) and decided to give it a try. It seemed like a sensible diet (in terms of what you eat) and, like other diets that have been raging of late, helps control your insulin levels to prevent blood sugar spikes. The basic design of a "Zone compliant meal" is that it consists of 40% carb calories, 30% protein calories, and 30% fat calories.

I started out following the plan by reading what's unofficially known as "The Zone for Dummies," officially known as "A Week In The Zone." I've been with it ever since, and have gone from about 265 lbs. to about 215 lbs. in that time (I'm 6'4"). According to the body mass index calculators in the book (and on www.zonediet.com), my body has gone from 29% fat to about 17% during that time.

I've had to donate a couple of sizes of clothing to Goodwill along the way, and seem to have hit a stable weight that I can maintain.

Pointers for anyone considering this diet:

  • Start with "A Week In The Zone."
  • Stick with it for at least a month and you'll see results, as well as begin to recognize what a "Zone meal" looks like
  • Follow the eating schedule (and all the snacks, especially the snack just before bedtime) as closely as you can so you won't get hungry
  • Invest in Zone Perfect bars, and make sure you bring some along when you travel. They kill hunger pangs, can serve as breakfast, and are great for the snacks between meals.

There is one aspect of the Zone that (in my opinion) is the key: At the beginning of the diet, you follow instructions in the book to figure out what you should be eating each day. Then, you start eating that way from day one. Your body eventually catches up and you maintain that amount of food going forward. This is different from others where you get to some target weight and start changing your diet - the changes are what made me stray from the path in other diets.

I now feel better and fitter than I've felt in probably 25 years, and am a big believer in the Zone as a sustainable way of eating. Let me know if you have any questions - I'd be glad to share what I've learned.

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It's all about you, isn't it?

I got some great advice and commentary on my last post about the accidental commitment. In case you don't read the comments and trackbacks, here's how I'd roll them all up:

  • Own your commitments and only make promises you can keep;
  • Once you make the commitment, keep your word by following through and delivering;
  • If you realize you've screwed up by making a commitment you shouldn't have made, come clean right away and do something to renegotiate or cancel the commitment.
  • Don't feel guilty, as we all make mistakes. It's what we do about the mistakes that makes us who we are.

It all came crashing together when a friend of mine reminded me that I had the answers all along, and I've even blogged on them. Which, of course, means I wasn't using the skills I already have very effectively - gee, ever done that before?

Develop the habit of taking a moment to think before committing, and then putting yourself in a position to own the commitment. When you make a mistake, analyze it and take steps to keep it from happening again. That is a lot like what I talked about in "Pretend you create everything that happens to you."

When you find yourself in the midst of an accidental commitment, you need to fix it by "Taking responsibility for your own well being."

It's hard to argue with your own advice. And sometimes, it's even harder to take that advice.

Rosa hits the nail on the head in her response, "Let's be honest":

"...what compounds the situation is that we don't admit to making the mistake as soon as we catch it. Instead, we let it play out the best that we can manage, and the person we made the commitment to is likely to get a mediocre result. We disappoint ourselves in the process too, because we know we are capable of better.

"As usual, honesty is the best policy, and the sooner the better. It is so much easier to deal with truthfulness that is out in the open versus those hidden lies of omission."

Sincere thanks to everyone who chimed in on this one!

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Take note (but no Moleskine for me)

Michael Hyatt has some thoughts on taking notes on Working Smart right now and, while I agree with most of his advice, I have my own variations on note taking techniques. Specifically, I disagree with his choice of notebook. Like Michael, I tried (and loved) the Moleskine notebook, but it didn't work for me as a note taking implement (though it is perfect as a journal or diary).

My favored technique was inspired by David Allen's use of legal pads, which allowed him to tear things off and put them in "In." Here is what I do:

I carry around a spiral notebook with micro-perforated pages, and take all my notes in there (here's a grainy Treo 600 snapshot of mine).

I prefer notebooks by a company called "Notebound" because they are cheap and durable, but look professional enough for a high-level business meeting. They also have a plastic pocket inside, which is good for stashing a couple of business cards and to serve as a traveling inbox when I don't have my red folder with me. I can also put temporary things like directions, etc. that I've printed out to help me get where I'm going. I can find these at Walgreen's for around $5 for the 10.5" x 8.5" size (120 or 160 page versions are available).

Here's where these are different from those beautiful Moleskine's: As I process the pages, I can tear them out and a) discard them, b) put the action items into my Outlook task list, c) file them, d) hand them off to someone else.

When I take notes, it's just for taking notes - so this process works for me. It means that I don't carry around a bunch of old notes that I will probably never read, and since I tear out pages as I process them I can see at a glance how much needs to be processed.

When I have notes I *do* want to retain in their original form, I can file them just like I would file any other piece of paper. More often than not, I need to summarize the outcomes of meetings in an email to other people and I use that opportunity to distill the meeting down to its core elements, then file that in my electronic filing system (which I can search easily with Lookout).

How do you deal with notes?

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Copyright 2005-2015 Dwayne A. Melancon, all rights reserved. Licensed under Creative Commons - see the "About the Author" page for details.