Genuine Curiosity

Author Dwayne Melancon is always on the lookout for new things to learn. An ecclectic collection of postings on personal productivity, travel, good books, gadgets, leadership & management, and many other things.

 

A good book for our times

I just read my friend Rajesh Setty’s new book, “Upbeat: Cultivating the right attitude in tough times.”  I’ve been a fan of Rajesh’s work since I discovered him through his book “Beyond Code,” a couple of years ago.

This book is a perfect book for anyone who’s feeling victimized by today’s financial crises as it was prepared specifically to help people deal with today’s environment.  That said, I found a lot in this book that will help with improving your outlook on life, in general.

The approach Rajesh takes in this book upbeat coverwill help you decide whether you’ll be a victim of circumstance, or whether you’ll take responsibility for your own well being and try to improve your lot in life.  From there, he provides a number of examples and insightful observations to help you figure out how to overcome obstacles and anxiety.

Not just a “feel good” book

Don’t worry – this is not just a “feel good and good things will happen to you” kind of book.  Rajesh is a serial entrepreneur and has had lots of experience with both setbacks and successes, and he rolls all that experience into this short book.

The book is organized around 5 key areas:

  1. The Trap – this is how to keep the “gloom and doom” of everyday conversation from eroding your spirit, as well as how to look for the opportunities that will take you to the next level.
  2. The Discipline – this is about rituals and habits, as well as becoming a “lean and mean” player in the world.
  3. The Network – this is the traditional “help and be helped” networking approach, but also about how not to misuse networking tools (i.e. when Facebook becomes Fakebook).
  4. The Strategy – this is all about honing your focus and taking deliberate action.
  5. The Action – this deals with a notion I think of as “do the things you want to be known for” which will increase your chances of success when people are looking for a new member of their team.

The “Upbeat DIY Helpbook”

While the first part of the book focuses a lot on attitude, persistence, and commitment, the appendix is kind of like a set of mini-workshops.  Rajesh calls it the “Upbeat DIY Helpbook” and it creates short, introspective exercises to help move you along the right path.  I found that it put a fine point on many of the abstract concepts introduced in the beginning of the book and made it all seem more real.

In summary, this is a short book and an easy read, but don’t let it’s diminutive size fool you – there is a lot of power in these pages.  Oh – and I think Upbeat would be a great gift for you to give someone who finds themselves on the wrong side of this economy.

For more on Rajesh, be sure and check out his blog at http://www.lifebeyondcode.com.

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[Review] Who’s Got Your Back

gotyourback Keith Ferrazzi’s latest book, “Who’s Got Your Back,” is about developing an inner circle of advisors who will never let you fail. This book is both inspiring and actionable – a very strong combination. 

Superheroes and Mere Mortals

I found this book to be a very reasonable and achievable approach – in other words, something I believe I can actually do.  Why do I mention this?  Well, when I read Keith’s first book “Never Eat Alone,” I was inspired but very intimidated – “Never Eat Alone” felt very compelling, but I believed Keith must be some kind of Superhero to be able to do all of the things he described in any sustained way.

In “Who’s Got Your Back,” Keith shares some of his challenges and helps us see that he is Mere Mortal after all.  In fact, he talks about how some of the relationship skillz he mentions in “Never Eat Alone” were missing inside his company.  [I can relate – I do a much better with communication, organization, and relationship management at work than I do at home.]

He then goes on to share how he has found 3 key people in his life that provide him with unvarnished feedback, encouragement, and input on life strategies.  These are the 3 people who will not let him fail – the 3 people who have “got his back.”

Five key learnings

I got a pre-release copy of this book and got an email from Keith asking me to summarize my five most compelling ideas, anecdotes or lessons that stuck with me.  I thought that was a good approach for this review, so here are mine:

  1. Generosity, Vulnerability, Candor, and Accountability are the currency required to bring people into your inner circle.  You have to invest in relationships with others, and trust comes from investing these four things.
  2. “Each of us is responsible for creating the safe place around us.”  When I read this line, I had a flashback to my post from a few years ago about taking responsibility for your own well-being.  In the context of this book, that means we are each responsible for creating the environment / demeanor that invites others in.  Sometimes, that may also mean explicitly inviting them in.
  3. “Give and Let Give.”  It’s great to be a mentor or give of your talents to others – it can be quite another thing to be able to accept the gifts and talents others share with you.  If you feel you aren’t worthy of others’ attention or “investment” it can be difficult to ask for help or accept it when it’s given.  You are worthy, and “they” are helping you because they want to – accept the help graciously.
  4. You can’t rush trust.  Throughout the book, Keith talks about having conversations over “long, slow dinners.”  Relationships take time and if you rush things or try to do too much at once, you probably won’t enjoy them as much.  Trust takes time to build – they don’t sell trust in the drive-through lane. 
  5. If you and your mentor aren’t being candid, something is wrong.  This works two ways:  1) they need to know how you (really) feel and what’s important to you, even if it’s hard to talk about; 2) they need to be able to tell you the straight scoop, even if it’s not something you want to hear.  If you have the right mentor, and you’ve created the safe place around that relationship, you can make this work – if it doesn’t feel safe, review 1-4, above, and see if you can figure out what’s missing.  Still not feeling it?  Have no fear, the book will help you get there.

Step by step, you’ll get there

This book does a great job of providing specific steps to help you through the process of building your inner circle.  I’m still working through it, but the steps are clear and concrete so I think you’ll be able to apply them on your own.  Keith also includes a lot of examples from his own life and these stories help you get a feel for what’s required of you at each step.

You’ll find a bunch of other inspiring stories, too – like the one about two real estate pros that had complementary strengths who worked together and were more successful than either could be alone.  Powerful stuff.

“Who’s Got Your Back” touts itself as a program “…to build deep, trusting relationships that create success – and won’t let you fail.”  I think it delivers.

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Resurfacing after a deep dive

Sub_resurfaceI’ve been fairly quiet for the past couple of weeks, but that’s due to a couple of contributing factors:  connectivity (or lack thereof), and jam-packed scheduling at 3, back-to-back software industry conferences (self-inflicted, for the most part). 

Now, as I come up for air, I have a lot of pent up stuff to write about.  Let’s start with some quick updates:

  • A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was starting one of my periodic time audits (yes, I finally got it done after my epic fail).  Here are my key takeaways:
    • I was successful in carving out and sticking to one of my goals:  engaging in regular physical exercise.  For the past 5 consecutive weeks, I have kept to a 6-day per week exercise schedule (3 alternating days of weights, interspersed with 3 days of cardio, followed by 1 day of rest).  I even managed to keep to this during 3 weeks of travel.  This is a first for me, but something I intend
    • I spent too much time working on things that were not directly related to my top priorities. What’s my diagnosis of the problem?
      • I wasn’t consistent in writing down my top priorities and “must do” items at the beginning of the week.
      • I said “yes” to too many “urgent but not important” tasks (i.e. someone else’s priorities)
  • I read a great article by my friend Mike Kanazawa (author of “BIg Ideas to Big Results”).  The article is called “80% Of Companies Are Thinking More Strategically In The Downturn,” and it looks at some data on how companies are reacting to the economy’s chaos.  One of the key observations is one I really agree with: you need to take care of your existing customers and keep them happy.  I don’t know about you, but I find it much easier to stick by the suppliers that have done right by me no matter what, but during lean times I will not only support them – I’ll go out of my way to give them my business so they do OK.  And I’ll readily drop the vendors that have been lame to me.  There’s more to it in Mike’s article – go check it out.
  • I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the positive power of “TripIt” (which I wrote about a while ago).  As my travel has picked up, I’ve been reconnecting with quite a few people I haven’t seen in ages.  I was skeptical about how much I’d like TripIt but was intrigued enough to sign up anyway.  I’m glad I did.

I’ve got a few drafts going that I’ll be finishing up and posting soon – including a review of a forthcoming Keith Ferrazzi book that I have a pre-release copy of.  I think you’ll like it.

Thanks for hanging in there during my time under water.

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Do It Tomorrow

Ok, I gotta say, when I saw Mark Forster’s book, “Do It Tomorrow” on the shelf I was drawn to it.  I thought it might be some best practices guide for how to procrastinate more effectively.  Well, it wasn’t that…but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

do_it_tomorrow The full title is actually “Do It Tomorrow and Other Secrets of Time Management,” and it’s Forster’s straight-forward system to help you become more focused and productive (this is one of the GTD alternatives I mentioned a few weeks ago).

One of the core concepts in Forster’s approach is to plan what you must do tomorrow, and create an action list to drive what you do.  This allows you to enter the day knowing what your targets are for the day.  Furthermore, you up your chances of success by treating this list as a “closed list” so you don’t keep adding things to it.  That doesn’t mean you don’t write down new tasks – it just means you don’t act on them until some future day. (Don’t worry – you can still deal with true emergencies).

Principles of productivity

Forster’s methods are based on 7 principles.  If I gave you a list of the principles here, it wouldn’t do them justice as they sound like things you may be familiar with (for example, the first on is “Have a clear vision”) and you might discount the value of this book without giving it a chance.  On the contrary, I found that Forster doesn’t just refactor the things you read in so many books about productivity – he adds his unique spin and pragmatism to each principle.

The book takes you through each of the principles and provides some “what if” scenarios, techniques, affirmations, and exercises to help you adopt them effectively.

These exercises help you identify the most relevant or valuable use of your time based on “litmus tests” you can apply during planning, as well as in-the-moment.  There are also a lot of techniques to help you deal with other people’s faulty approaches to time management so they don’t undermine your effectiveness.  I’ve tried a couple of these techniques since I read this book, and seen them work – pretty cool.  I’m definitely not a Jedi master but Forster’s techniques are sound.

Simple can be good

While some of Forster’s approaches sounded familiar (his explanation of “To Do vs. Will Do" sounded a lot like “Someday Maybe” from David Allen’s Getting Things Done, aka GTD), I found he always biases toward simple approaches.  This means you can quickly understand and apply Forster’s principles so you’ll know whether they work for you within a very short time.

If you’re already familiar with GTD (but shying away for some reason), or you’re just looking to be more productive, this book would be a good addition to your library.  But if you want to order, Do it Tomorrow.

If you want to read a chapter before committing, Mark’s made Chapter One of “Do It Tomorrow” available on his site.

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Putting the work in Teamwork

Recently, I've been involved in some discussions about team dynamics in corporate environments. Specifically, discussions about how teams hold each other accountable, remain focused on the "bigger we," and improve the team's ability to work together.

In my career, I've been part of lots of teams - ranging from the criminally dysfunctional to the high-performing. One of the things I've noticed is that the better the team, the better they want to be - and the more they focus on improving team function.

One of the teams I'm on now is working improving team dynamics, and we're preparing for our first meeting soon. This has sent me back to my bookshelf to review my "top 5" books that have made their mark on me in this area.

I'd like to share my short list with you, and invite you to share any gems of your own with me in the comments.

  • The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable
    • This is an easy read with some hard advice. It describes a team engaged in some destructive, disloyal, and counterproductive habits - many of which sound exactly like some of the screwed up teams I've been on. Through the fable in this book, you learn how to do things the right way (or at least in a much better way) with a strong focus on holding each other accountable. Every team can learn from this book.
    • My top takeaway: Focus on results and insist on mutual accountability through constructive conflict.
  • The Offsite: A Leadership Challenge Fable
    • I've reviewed The Offsite here before. This one (another fable) focuses on team dynamics but on provides some tools to figure out whether you have a process problem or a leadership (or leader) problem.
    • My top takeaway: Create a unifying purpose and don't let ineffective leaders destroy the team.
  • Managing with Aloha
    • This book isn't just about teamwork, but teamwork runs through it. Concepts like "The Daily Five Minutes" are written from the perspective of a manager connecting with their team, but I find this concept - and many others in this book - can be applied to increasing the effectiveness of your relationships with peers / team members. This is another book I've reviewed here.
    • My top takeaway: Effective teams require people to feel respected and valued, even when things aren't going well.
  • Silos, Politics, and Turf Wars
    • Well, Patrick Lencioni gets to be on my short list twice (he also wrote the "Five Dysfunctions..." book above). You've probably seen the dynamic in teams where it's always "their" fault, and the easiest way to get ahead is to make the other people in the room look bad (and you usually do that behind their back). This book helps you deal with these bad behaviors and get them out of your team - they have no place in an effective team.
    • My top takeaway: Work toward "the bigger we" and stop the in-fighting. Your business should be focused on collective success in the market, not individual success inside the company walls.
  • Why Smart Executives Fail
    • OK, OK. So this isn't a book about teams, but it is a book about leadership and leadership debacles. It's useful, however, for anyone in a leadership position to better recognize their contribution to dysfunction. Remember what you've brought to the party. There is a spot-on summary in this post at Aussie Rules.
    • My top takeaway: If your team is dysfunctional, you are probably part of the problem.

I've read lots of other good books, but found these to by my preferred "must re-visit" list around the topic of team effectiveness.

What books are on your short list?

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