Are the people around you sucking you dry?

A long time ago, I had a mentor that taught me a little trick:  When you think about the people you spend time with, figure out if they are adding energy or taking energy away from you; spend more time with people who add energy to your life, and you'll be better off.

Time for an energy audit

With that in mind, I want to share a little trick to help you evaluate your energy "bank account."  For a week, walk around with an index card in your pocket and record the interactions you have with others. 

As you can see on the cards below, it's pretty simple.  One side of the card is the "plus" side and the other is the "minus" side; each side has a narrow column and a wide column.  When you have a significant interaction with someone, simply decide whether it added energy to your life or took energy away.

Write the person's name in the narrow column, on the appropriate side of the card.  Next to it, write a very short note to remind you what you talked about.

If you run out of space on the card, simply start a new one.

What's the net-net?

At the end of the week, study your cards and see if you've noted any meaningful trends. For example:

• Are there any people on the list that consistently drain energy from you?  If so, are there ways you can spend less time with them or take other actions to minimize their draining effect?  For example, are there specific topics that you should be avoiding?
• Are there any people (or even topics) that consistently energize you?  If so, what can you do to manipulate your time so that you spend more time with those people, or spend more time on those topics?

I do this periodically, and I find it helps.  On occasion, I identify a friend I want to "fire" and spend as little time with them as possible.  This does wonders for me.  If you can't get away from them entirely (if, for example, they are a coworker that you must work with, or a family member you just have to deal with) then try to come up with other coping mechanisms to limit their negative influence.

Five Great Books on Motivation and Success

When you look at people who are successful and happy, do you ever wonder, "What's their secret? Why do they get to have it all?”

The secret is simple: There is no secret. Most people we classify as successful will tell you there is no magic formula or golden ticket that has led them down the path to prosperity. To a large degree, it comes down to careful planning, smart choices and a great attitude.

Timeless lessons

If you browse the "books" category of my site, you'll notice that I review a lot of current (or at least recent) books on management, leadership, self-improvement, etc.  This week, I though it would be fun to jump into the "wayback machine" and take a look at some of the best self-improvement books from the past.  

There are plenty of well-known figures who have shared their strategies and tips for success, and we can increase our odds of success by reading and reflecting on their books. Famous motivational speakers like Tony Robbins, religious leaders like Joel Osteen and Ed Young and scholarly experts like David Schwartz have written books offering motivation, inspiration and sound advice to help anyone prosper.

The list of successful professionals who can offer significant insight into being successful and happy isn't limited to modern-day writers. If you're looking to change the trajectory of your life with regards to business, family, romantic relationships or spirituality, check out the advice from some of these gurus (by they way - each of the book titles below is a live link to the book on Amazon):

"Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins

You may have heard of Tony Robbins, or seen one of his infomercials on TV. In this book, he takes on mental, physical, emotional and financial health and gives us a lot to think about. Robbins is famous for laying out step-by-step plans to improve yourself, and this book is no different - the techniques are very good and practical.  This book is 30 years old, but I think it stands the test of time, and so does Robbins.  Now in his 50's, he has reached over 50 million people over his 30-year speaking career - that's about a million people per year of his life.  Not too shabby.

"In the Zone" by Ed Young

Ed Young shares biblical principles about what it means to live a productive and rewarding life. Young is the founding pastor of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, and shares how and why we should avoid materialism, to increase the amount of hope and joy in our lives. "In the Zone" also gives actionable advice on escaping debt, achieving financial freedom and managing the resources we've been given.

"Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki

Robert Kiyosaki's well-known personal finance book discusses money from the perspective of two fathers. The poor/middle class dad works for his money, bringing home paychecks to sustain his family. The rich dad's money works for him. Kiyosaki discusses the philosophies that allowed him to retire at 47 and reveals actions you can take now to reach financial security and freedom.  There are a bunch of interesting financial habits in this book, and you'll benefit even if you only apply a few of them.  Good stuff.

"The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale

Norman Vincent Peale's inspirational classic has been translated into 12 languages and reprinted for a global audience. First published in 1952, this book outlines how to achieve popularity, overcome defeat, develop confidence and more. Peale believes a life rooted in joyful faith and a positive outlook can lead to these and he gives specific examples of how simple changes in your mental attitude can improve your life.

"How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

This one is a classic, for sure.  Since it was first published back in 1936, Dale Carnegie's legendary motivational book has sold more than 15 million copies. At the heart of the book is a reassuring assertion: that communication, not brilliant insight, is what leads to success. Carnegie describes how readers can get the job they want and improve the job they have. As one of the books that pioneered modern self-improvement books, this is a must-read.

[Review] The Phoenix Project: A Novel About IT, DevOps, and Helping Your Business Win

[Updated January 15, 2013 to include link to longer excerpt - 170 pages, using the link at the end of this post.]

Last week, I read the newly released book, "The Phoenix Project: A Novel About IT, DevOps, and Helping Your Business Win."  This book was written by Gene Kim, Kevin Behr, and George Spafford, who also wrote "The Visible Ops Handbook" (I was a contributing researcher on that project). 

The Phoenix Project is a business novel that takes you through a few months in the life of Bill Palmer, an IT manager at a large auto parts manufacturing company. The book begins with Bill's boss (head of IT Ops) and his boss's boss (the CIO) getting fired.  Bill gets a battlefield promotion and works directly with the CEO, who expects him to solve some serious IT problems (that threaten to destroy the business) in 90 days.

"The Goal" for Information Technology

Don't let the fact that this is a novel fool you - this is not fluff, and there is plenty of rich learning in this book.  If you've ever read "The Goal," by Dr. Eliyahu Goldrattl, you'll know that it was a business novel designed to make it easier to understand his "Theory of Constraints" (TOC) model and it succeeded in making a lot of very complex concepts approachable for business seeking to improve the performance of their manufacturing and supply chain operations.

The Phoenix Project is a lot like The Goal, in that it wraps a compelling story around such complex topics of DevOps, ITIL, Agile development processes, risk management, top-down risk-based audit scoping, and a lot more.

A captivating read, with realistic scenarios

As the story unfolds, you not only learn about these topics, you also see them in situations that you'll recognize.  I ran across quite a few scenarios that felt familiar both from my day job, as well as the work I do with enterprises and executives around the world.  In other words, the situations in the book are very real business scenarios.

The characters remind me of people I know, as well.  I had mental images of the characters as people I've worked with and you probably will, too.  After all, the stereotypical IT security curmudgeon is not just a story - and you may be surprised what happens to the head of Information Security in this book.

I read this book on the plane the other day and found myself irritated when I had to shut down my e-reader for landing because I couldn't wait to see what happened next!  I can almost see this becoming a movie at some point (though the idea of an IT-oriented feature film is probably a bit of a stretch - maybe there could be a car chase or an alien invasion or something).

Learn to improve your business

As entertaining as this book is, there is a lot to be learned from it.  In today's business world, IT is involved in almost everything we do. One of the challenges faced by many IT professionals is that the non-technical parts of the business often don't understand the linkages between IT activities and business success.  The result is IT getting the short end of the stick and starving for resources.

IT contributes to these problems, as well, because they spend a lot of time on activities that aren't "make or break" for the business so they have a hard time demonstrating value created with the budget they've been given.

The Phoenix Project hits this problem straight on and presents ways to get everyone on the same page about what's really important to the business, provides tools for IT professionals to focus on delivering meaningful results for the business, and tying all of it directly to how the business makes money by satisfying customer needs.

A must-read for IT professionals and business people alike

The principles shared in this book are critical for any business that relies on IT for its livelihood.  I recommend The Phoenix Project to every business person and IT professional that wants to increase their business performance.

If you want to see what it's like, click this link to read a brief excerpt from The Phoenix Project.

How To Stop Ruining Your Own Life

While preparing your goals for the coming year, have you reviewed what you did last year? Were you happy with the results? If the answer is no, maybe some further introspection is required - and I have a few simple questions you can use to get right to the point.

What have you done?

A long time ago, a mentor of mine used to tell me:

“Pretend that you create everything that happens to you. When you you find yourself in a situation that you're not happy with, ask yourself, 'What have I done to create the situation for myself?'  

"In most cases, you'll find something that you did - or failed to do - that brought you to this point."

I've used this technique many times on my own, and I love it.  This method forces you to turn the tables on yourself and look at things in a different light.

Once you identify what you've done to create your own bad situation, then ask yourself:

"What can I do in the future to create different outcomes that are more desirable?"

As you come up with possible solutions you want to try out, write them down and resolve to try altering your behaviors in the future.  Then, monitor yourself to see how these changes impact the outcomes.

A personal example

I used to work with someone that dumped half-finished projects in my lap and expected me to save the day by getting them done.  Because I wanted the company to be successful, I'd take them on and finish the projects, they would take credit for the results, and I'd end up really irritated.  But I kept doing it anyway (I know, shame on me).

During one of my reflection exercises, I became consciously aware of what I'd been doing.  I vowed never to make another "diving catch" to do something for this person that they should have done for themselves.  To make this easier, I came up with several useful strategies to say no gracefully and I put my new plan into practice.

A few months later, I was much happier, and this person's poor performance became noticeable enough for our boss to address it as a performance issue.

In other words, this really works (at least for me).  Let me know how it goes for you.

'Trump' Your Competitors: 4 Business Lessons Learned From "The Apprentice"

The harder you work the, "luckier" you get. That's an interesting statement. If you think about it, the harder you work, the more chances you have to be successful, so, in turn, you feel "lucky." On "The Apprentice," Donald Trump has a lot to say. His business advice is generally sound, honest and can help anyone succeed if they are willing to follow it. Actually, not just follow it but take the bull by the horns and charge forward.

Trump is a multi-billionaire because he is knowledgeable and bold. He's an educator and - above all - he's a great showman. Whether you love him or hate him, he knows what he's doing and he is a champion, when it comes to business (I wouldn't ask for his advice on hair styles, but business is another matter). Here are a few business tips to help you triumph in your own world and "trump" your competitors.

Be Coachable

Separate yourself from the "pack" to stand out and get ahead, suggests Trump in an NBC interview. The humility in accepting the fact there might be a better way to do a certain task, defines you as a person. It shows you want to improve and know that no one (even yourself) is perfect. By allowing leaders to coach you in business, you actively take responsibility for improving your life and increasing your knowledge. Some people consider being humble to be a key attributes of a successful human being.

Admitting faults can be hard; however, the grace you show in turning constructive criticism into opportunity keeps you humble. Being coachable can take practice and discipline. Getting rid of a negative, sour, defensive attitude can completely change your direction.

Money Isn't the Primary Goal

Don't get me wrong - money sure is nice when you get it. However, the key to making money is not letting it be the reason for your actions. Ask yourself, what happens when you attain the amount you are going for? You may hit a ceiling and could begin to make bad decisions and slack on your business practices. Stick to the rules of saving by separately budgeting your business and personal finances.  Don't be afraid to get creative with financing, either.  If you're a small business owner, you can solidify your credit with an American Express cash flow card, for example.

While Trump is known to say money is a scorecard you can use to gauge how well you and your company are doing, it should not be your driving force. Keep in mind you are always wanting to move toward something.

A good driving force? Strive to become a better version of yourself.  Personally, learning new things, helping others and solving interesting problems is a big motivator for me - I've just managed to find ways to make money by doign that.

Communication is the Relationship

Communicate effectively. Learn to express yourself in a positive manner and avoid attacking people or "going negative." Go into challenges asking questions and don't assume it is someone's fault; there could be sound explanations for happenings. Also, while you are in it to win it, it often takes teamwork to prevail. In teamwork, communication can make or break you. "The Apprentice" is all about working together. Strive to be the respected leader of the pack.

Transparency and genuine communication is also important - that is how you build trust with others.  That isn't to say diplomacy isn't necessary, but open communications go a long way toward building stronger relationships with others.

Create a Personal Brand

Because business is an "every man for himself/every woman for herself" enterprise (according to Trump), it's important to know your audience and for them to know you. A big part of confidence and success relies on your personal brand. How do you want others to perceive you? While first impressions are essential in building positive relationships, you must continue to impress and stimulate your audience's perception of you.

A good guideline I've heard is to "continually do the things you want to be known for."  This is a key when creating your personal brand, which means focus is important.  Decide the top 5 (or so) things you want to be known for and figure out the things you need to do to demonstrate and be known for them - make it a habit and your personal brand will develop.