Genuine Curiosity

Author Dwayne Melancon is always on the lookout for new things to learn. An ecclectic collection of postings on personal productivity, travel, good books, gadgets, leadership & management, and many other things.

 

[Review] Who’s Got Your Back

gotyourback Keith Ferrazzi’s latest book, “Who’s Got Your Back,” is about developing an inner circle of advisors who will never let you fail. This book is both inspiring and actionable – a very strong combination. 

Superheroes and Mere Mortals

I found this book to be a very reasonable and achievable approach – in other words, something I believe I can actually do.  Why do I mention this?  Well, when I read Keith’s first book “Never Eat Alone,” I was inspired but very intimidated – “Never Eat Alone” felt very compelling, but I believed Keith must be some kind of Superhero to be able to do all of the things he described in any sustained way.

In “Who’s Got Your Back,” Keith shares some of his challenges and helps us see that he is Mere Mortal after all.  In fact, he talks about how some of the relationship skillz he mentions in “Never Eat Alone” were missing inside his company.  [I can relate – I do a much better with communication, organization, and relationship management at work than I do at home.]

He then goes on to share how he has found 3 key people in his life that provide him with unvarnished feedback, encouragement, and input on life strategies.  These are the 3 people who will not let him fail – the 3 people who have “got his back.”

Five key learnings

I got a pre-release copy of this book and got an email from Keith asking me to summarize my five most compelling ideas, anecdotes or lessons that stuck with me.  I thought that was a good approach for this review, so here are mine:

  1. Generosity, Vulnerability, Candor, and Accountability are the currency required to bring people into your inner circle.  You have to invest in relationships with others, and trust comes from investing these four things.
  2. “Each of us is responsible for creating the safe place around us.”  When I read this line, I had a flashback to my post from a few years ago about taking responsibility for your own well-being.  In the context of this book, that means we are each responsible for creating the environment / demeanor that invites others in.  Sometimes, that may also mean explicitly inviting them in.
  3. “Give and Let Give.”  It’s great to be a mentor or give of your talents to others – it can be quite another thing to be able to accept the gifts and talents others share with you.  If you feel you aren’t worthy of others’ attention or “investment” it can be difficult to ask for help or accept it when it’s given.  You are worthy, and “they” are helping you because they want to – accept the help graciously.
  4. You can’t rush trust.  Throughout the book, Keith talks about having conversations over “long, slow dinners.”  Relationships take time and if you rush things or try to do too much at once, you probably won’t enjoy them as much.  Trust takes time to build – they don’t sell trust in the drive-through lane. 
  5. If you and your mentor aren’t being candid, something is wrong.  This works two ways:  1) they need to know how you (really) feel and what’s important to you, even if it’s hard to talk about; 2) they need to be able to tell you the straight scoop, even if it’s not something you want to hear.  If you have the right mentor, and you’ve created the safe place around that relationship, you can make this work – if it doesn’t feel safe, review 1-4, above, and see if you can figure out what’s missing.  Still not feeling it?  Have no fear, the book will help you get there.

Step by step, you’ll get there

This book does a great job of providing specific steps to help you through the process of building your inner circle.  I’m still working through it, but the steps are clear and concrete so I think you’ll be able to apply them on your own.  Keith also includes a lot of examples from his own life and these stories help you get a feel for what’s required of you at each step.

You’ll find a bunch of other inspiring stories, too – like the one about two real estate pros that had complementary strengths who worked together and were more successful than either could be alone.  Powerful stuff.

“Who’s Got Your Back” touts itself as a program “…to build deep, trusting relationships that create success – and won’t let you fail.”  I think it delivers.

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Unlocking the iPhone’s potential, part 1

apple_chrome_logo Despite the title, this article is not about unlocking the iPhone so it will work on networks other than AT&T.  And as much as the cool kids keep trying to tempt me to do it, it’s also not about jailbreaking the iPhone so you can run rogue apps on it.

As you may know, I wrote about my “top 3” challenges with the iPhone a while back and they were irritating enough to get me to switch back to my Blackberry.

Now, I’m back on the iPhone 3G.  What’s changed?  This post begins the discussion about what’s changed for me in the hopes that other iPhone users (or wannabe users) can benefit from what I’ve learned.  I want to share with you how I’ve been able to overcome (or at least make tolerable) some of the iPhone’s current limitations, and I’ll start with my top 3 issues from the previous post:

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Voice power and your phone

vlingo I am in the midst of a switch of phone platforms, yet again.  I’m going back to my iPhone 3G.

During the coming week, I’ll share more information with you about how I’m working around the iPhone’s limitations (I’ve mentioned why I switched away from the iPhone in a previous post).  In the mean time, I wanted to share information about a free “super app” that works on both the Blackberry and the iPhone.  The application is called “vlingo” and it allows you to talk to your phone to make it do stuff.

Voice control is very handy in many situations, such as when you’re driving.  You can use Vlingo to call people, update social network status, do web searches, and more.  The Blackberry version has more functions and is a little easier to access since it maps to one of the “convenience keys” on the side of your phone, but the iPhone version is still very good (I wish I could use vlingo to send text message on the iPhone – I did that all the time on the Blackberry).

Very cool – check out vlingo today – it is free, after all.  Would love to hear what you think.

Want to see a demo first?  There are a couple of cool demo (Flash) videos online of vlingo on the Blackberry, and vlingo on the iPhone.

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Do It Tomorrow

Ok, I gotta say, when I saw Mark Forster’s book, “Do It Tomorrow” on the shelf I was drawn to it.  I thought it might be some best practices guide for how to procrastinate more effectively.  Well, it wasn’t that…but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

do_it_tomorrow The full title is actually “Do It Tomorrow and Other Secrets of Time Management,” and it’s Forster’s straight-forward system to help you become more focused and productive (this is one of the GTD alternatives I mentioned a few weeks ago).

One of the core concepts in Forster’s approach is to plan what you must do tomorrow, and create an action list to drive what you do.  This allows you to enter the day knowing what your targets are for the day.  Furthermore, you up your chances of success by treating this list as a “closed list” so you don’t keep adding things to it.  That doesn’t mean you don’t write down new tasks – it just means you don’t act on them until some future day. (Don’t worry – you can still deal with true emergencies).

Principles of productivity

Forster’s methods are based on 7 principles.  If I gave you a list of the principles here, it wouldn’t do them justice as they sound like things you may be familiar with (for example, the first on is “Have a clear vision”) and you might discount the value of this book without giving it a chance.  On the contrary, I found that Forster doesn’t just refactor the things you read in so many books about productivity – he adds his unique spin and pragmatism to each principle.

The book takes you through each of the principles and provides some “what if” scenarios, techniques, affirmations, and exercises to help you adopt them effectively.

These exercises help you identify the most relevant or valuable use of your time based on “litmus tests” you can apply during planning, as well as in-the-moment.  There are also a lot of techniques to help you deal with other people’s faulty approaches to time management so they don’t undermine your effectiveness.  I’ve tried a couple of these techniques since I read this book, and seen them work – pretty cool.  I’m definitely not a Jedi master but Forster’s techniques are sound.

Simple can be good

While some of Forster’s approaches sounded familiar (his explanation of “To Do vs. Will Do" sounded a lot like “Someday Maybe” from David Allen’s Getting Things Done, aka GTD), I found he always biases toward simple approaches.  This means you can quickly understand and apply Forster’s principles so you’ll know whether they work for you within a very short time.

If you’re already familiar with GTD (but shying away for some reason), or you’re just looking to be more productive, this book would be a good addition to your library.  But if you want to order, Do it Tomorrow.

If you want to read a chapter before committing, Mark’s made Chapter One of “Do It Tomorrow” available on his site.

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Epic Fail: My Time Audit

Well, last weekend I told you I'd be doing a time audit during the past week. I had my forms printed and everything. I did a couple of entries on Monday morning and that's about it.

While I didn't learn much about the specifics of how I spent my time, I did find that I somehow got a lot of the items on my list done this week, so I must have done something right.

What next? Back on the horse next week. "There is no try - only do or do not," as Yoda says. This week I will either do, or do not. I'll let you know how it turns out.

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