How To Stop Ruining Your Own Life

While preparing your goals for the coming year, have you reviewed what you did last year? Were you happy with the results? If the answer is no, maybe some further introspection is required - and I have a few simple questions you can use to get right to the point.

What have you done?

A long time ago, a mentor of mine used to tell me:

“Pretend that you create everything that happens to you. When you you find yourself in a situation that you're not happy with, ask yourself, 'What have I done to create the situation for myself?'  

"In most cases, you'll find something that you did - or failed to do - that brought you to this point."

I've used this technique many times on my own, and I love it.  This method forces you to turn the tables on yourself and look at things in a different light.

Once you identify what you've done to create your own bad situation, then ask yourself:

"What can I do in the future to create different outcomes that are more desirable?"

As you come up with possible solutions you want to try out, write them down and resolve to try altering your behaviors in the future.  Then, monitor yourself to see how these changes impact the outcomes.

A personal example

I used to work with someone that dumped half-finished projects in my lap and expected me to save the day by getting them done.  Because I wanted the company to be successful, I'd take them on and finish the projects, they would take credit for the results, and I'd end up really irritated.  But I kept doing it anyway (I know, shame on me).

During one of my reflection exercises, I became consciously aware of what I'd been doing.  I vowed never to make another "diving catch" to do something for this person that they should have done for themselves.  To make this easier, I came up with several useful strategies to say no gracefully and I put my new plan into practice.

A few months later, I was much happier, and this person's poor performance became noticeable enough for our boss to address it as a performance issue.

In other words, this really works (at least for me).  Let me know how it goes for you.

Reflect on the old year, plan the new year

Last week, I wrote about Beeminder, to help motivate you to keep your New Year's resolutions, and a few weeks ago, I reviewed the book "Your Best Just Got Better," which is a great book to read to figure out how to set meaningful goals.

This week I want to share some tools and methods to get past the "writer's block" that often stalls people when they sit down to write their goals and resolutions.

Getting your goals out of your head

It's pretty common for people to carve out a few cycles this time of year to make plans, new year's resolutions, and such.  I'm a very visual person, so I find that using a mind map helps me organize my thoughts and stimulates my thinking.  My tool of choice is MindManager from Mindjet, but you can find lots of other mind mapping alternatives on the other end of Google (FreeMind, for example, is free and Open Source).

I organized my map into three main "zones" (which you can see in the diagram below):

1. A review of last year, where I identify highlights, lowlights, and missed opportunities
2. A look ahead to help me frame my main areas of focus (more thematic or directional in nature)
3. Making more concrete commitments I want to achieve (specific commitments and projects I want to focus on)

I've included my blank map below, and you can download my "New Year Reflection" mind map here.  You can also launch an interactive (but not editable) version of the "New Year Reflection" mind map via this link (give it a bit of time - it has to download a Flash-based player).

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Feel free to customize it so the prompts are more meaningful to you.  And, if you use this approach, please let me know how it works out for you.

Still stuck? Try thinking about it another way...

If you'd rather think about your goals in terms of the roles and "categories" in your life, I have another template that may be useful, as well.

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You can download my "2013 Success Planning" mind map here.  And, if you don't have MindManager or a compatible alternative, the interactive (but not editable version of 2013 Success Planning can be accessed via this link (give it a bit of time - it has to download a Flash-based player).  In this map, the "writing prompts" are in the Notes attached to each of the major categories - click on the little notepad icons and you'll see the prompts over in the notes pane on the right.

'Trump' Your Competitors: 4 Business Lessons Learned From "The Apprentice"

The harder you work the, "luckier" you get. That's an interesting statement. If you think about it, the harder you work, the more chances you have to be successful, so, in turn, you feel "lucky." On "The Apprentice," Donald Trump has a lot to say. His business advice is generally sound, honest and can help anyone succeed if they are willing to follow it. Actually, not just follow it but take the bull by the horns and charge forward.

Trump is a multi-billionaire because he is knowledgeable and bold. He's an educator and - above all - he's a great showman. Whether you love him or hate him, he knows what he's doing and he is a champion, when it comes to business (I wouldn't ask for his advice on hair styles, but business is another matter). Here are a few business tips to help you triumph in your own world and "trump" your competitors.

Be Coachable

Separate yourself from the "pack" to stand out and get ahead, suggests Trump in an NBC interview. The humility in accepting the fact there might be a better way to do a certain task, defines you as a person. It shows you want to improve and know that no one (even yourself) is perfect. By allowing leaders to coach you in business, you actively take responsibility for improving your life and increasing your knowledge. Some people consider being humble to be a key attributes of a successful human being.

Admitting faults can be hard; however, the grace you show in turning constructive criticism into opportunity keeps you humble. Being coachable can take practice and discipline. Getting rid of a negative, sour, defensive attitude can completely change your direction.

Money Isn't the Primary Goal

Don't get me wrong - money sure is nice when you get it. However, the key to making money is not letting it be the reason for your actions. Ask yourself, what happens when you attain the amount you are going for? You may hit a ceiling and could begin to make bad decisions and slack on your business practices. Stick to the rules of saving by separately budgeting your business and personal finances.  Don't be afraid to get creative with financing, either.  If you're a small business owner, you can solidify your credit with an American Express cash flow card, for example.

While Trump is known to say money is a scorecard you can use to gauge how well you and your company are doing, it should not be your driving force. Keep in mind you are always wanting to move toward something.

A good driving force? Strive to become a better version of yourself.  Personally, learning new things, helping others and solving interesting problems is a big motivator for me - I've just managed to find ways to make money by doign that.

Communication is the Relationship

Communicate effectively. Learn to express yourself in a positive manner and avoid attacking people or "going negative." Go into challenges asking questions and don't assume it is someone's fault; there could be sound explanations for happenings. Also, while you are in it to win it, it often takes teamwork to prevail. In teamwork, communication can make or break you. "The Apprentice" is all about working together. Strive to be the respected leader of the pack.

Transparency and genuine communication is also important - that is how you build trust with others.  That isn't to say diplomacy isn't necessary, but open communications go a long way toward building stronger relationships with others.

Create a Personal Brand

Because business is an "every man for himself/every woman for herself" enterprise (according to Trump), it's important to know your audience and for them to know you. A big part of confidence and success relies on your personal brand. How do you want others to perceive you? While first impressions are essential in building positive relationships, you must continue to impress and stimulate your audience's perception of you.

A good guideline I've heard is to "continually do the things you want to be known for."  This is a key when creating your personal brand, which means focus is important.  Decide the top 5 (or so) things you want to be known for and figure out the things you need to do to demonstrate and be known for them - make it a habit and your personal brand will develop.

Leave a lasting Impression: How to Crush it at Your Next Networking Event

Whether you're running a small business, or involved in an "outbound" role in your company,
you'll inevitably find yourself networking to make connections with potential clients or partners.
Making a connection at a networking event is challenging for a number of reasons:

• If you're an introvert like me, you may have to fight the natural inclination to keep to yourself;


• The size of the crowd can make it difficult to know where to start;


• Maybe you don't think you're good at introductions or small talk.

Despite the complications that might arise in a crowded event, as a business owner or representative of your company, you can make an impact with the right strategy.

Pay Attention to Others

Attempting to build a network requires a real connection with the other party. According to Keith Ferrazzi on his website, it is important to pay attention to one individual at a time. Allowing attention to wander and spending only a short time with each individual will show a lack of appreciation for others.

Take time to connect with each individual for a reasonable length of time. Pay attention to the concerns, comments and information that the other individual is offering in a conversation. It will show an interest in their business and provide valuable insight into potential partners or clients. Find things you have in common, and use them to keep the conversation going.

Offer a Business Card

A business card provides a reminder of the conversation and offers a connection to follow through with ideas offered at the event. It is possible to obtain professional business cards through Overnight Prints that are appropriate for any company. Overnight Prints offers cards in small or large quantities, making it ideal for small-business owners. According to the company website, it is possible to order 50 or more business cards at a time. I've also seen people use "Moo Cards" from Moo.com to stand out from the crowd and make more of a lasting impression.

During an event, offering a business card plays a key role in maintaining a connection. According to Ned Smith on Business News Daily, small business owners are still using business cards to make profitable connections. Smith states that business owners often make around $5,000 for every 100 cards passed out during networking.

When offering a business card at an event, wait until after making a connection. Hand a card to the other individual when they ask for contact information, details about the company or before closing the conversation. It is impolite to hand out a card without making any connection beforehand.

Ask Questions

Every individual likes talking about their company, goals or ideas. According to Melissa Cassera on AOL, asking questions about the other person’s reason for attending an event will provide an opportunity to break the ice and obtain some information about other attendees.

Asking questions allows the other individual to talk about their company, interests, ideas or the information they hope to learn at the event. It also provides the opportunity to share as a conversation develops.

If you read about my questions for "genuine curiosity," you might get some good ideas on how to get people talking.

Follow Through After the Event

Obtaining a lasting connection requires a follow through with the individual. Following up with the other party can be as simple as sending a note, making a phone call or sending an email. A polite follow through will remind the individual of the conversation and provide the opportunity to talk in the future.

I carry around a small notepad to write down follow-up items. Some people write on the back of cards which can work -- just keep in mind that some cultures outside the USA see writing on someone else's card as a sign of disrespect. In Asia, there are a lot more rules to be aware of, so you might want to familiarize yourself with Asian business card etiquette. Which leads me to the next point...

Treat Every Individual with Respect

Respect is a key part of making an impression at any event. Even the individuals who are currently in a low position in a company can provide valuable insight or ideas. According to Keith Ferrazzi, treating every individual with respect will prevent uncomfortable situations in the future.

It is possible that an individual in a supposedly low position might become the head of a department or the CEO of a large company in the future. By treating every individual with respect, it is easier to prevent resentment or ill-feelings that will ruin a company.

Building a network and encouraging the growth of a company is not as hard as it might seem. With a few simple tricks, it is possible to create lasting connections that improve the quality and reputation of a company.

What's in your networking playbook? If you have any tips or tricks to share, I'd love to hear them - especially if you have any good stories!

Online Data Storage: Is it okay to Move to the Cloud?

In the past, I've written about how much I love layered backup strategies - a local copy (or more than one), an off-site physical copy, and a "cloud" copy.  Sometimes people ask me about whether my data is safe and/ or private in the cloud - especially people who want to back up business data.  The short answer is "yes - if you choose a cloud backup provider with the right capabilities."  With that in mind, I thought I'd share some additional information on this topic.

The problem people face when using private computer systems is the need to keep the maximum amount of information available - how can we store, organize, and protect all of it? To help solve this problem, you can use remote backup services to store online reports. The concern remains, however, about whether keeping information off-site and online is a safe way to store private information.

Is the Cloud the Best Option for Business Owners?

Some companies have come to realize that there are huge benefits of storing information online. A report on cloud storage comparison found that out of 97 health care facilities that were surveyed, 71 percent were considering a move to the cloud powered storage. Using The cloud is one of the more cost effective methods for storing information. There is no need to buy expensive equipment to back up data with and It gives business owners the quickest way to access information and it keep information secure at all times.

Why Are People Reluctant to Move to Cloud Computing?

The only issue with all of this boils down to whether or not the cloud is safe. And a business professional has good reason to be concerned about their private information falling into the hands of some hacker because all it takes is for one person to break their way into a private system to compromise highly confidential information. As this technology gets better, however, you can find Cloud Storage Systems that will fit your business's specific security needs. If you are methodical in your cloud storage comparison, you'll find that buying cloud storage is the same as buying anything else: there are products that are well made and that will fit your needs and there are products that simply will not. Knowing what you do and don't need out of your company's Cloud Storage is a good place to being your research. A second concern some people have is the availability and accessibility of their information. Companies that thrive on customer service must have access to their business information on a daily basis. The concern is that the company will not be able to pull up the information they need in a timely manner. When dealing with customers, the information you need has to available within a few seconds. If the customer has to wait any length of time they can become impatient and upset, which often prompts the customer to take their business elsewhere.

Is Storing Information Online Safe and Concern Free

Storing information online really is the safest way to keep information from being lost or stolen. When a file is uploaded to a backup server it goes through an encryption process that keeps hackers from being able to read and access information. In order to read user-files the client must first enter the correct user name and then enter a secure password. The password and user name is usually chosen by the information owner.

Information that is stored online is available 24 hours a day from any location. A company can upload information and have instant access to the account setup on the server. Not only does the client have instant access, but also a backup copy just in case the system should crash. Beyond the instant access and reliable backup there is also the benefit of business email providers, online customer service systems, and other user support.

Obviously, a lot of my comments are directed at businesses, but I use cloud backup services for my personal use - because I value the benefits I mention above for my personal data, as well.  

I hope you found this information helpful - I know my cloud backups have saved my bacon on several occasions, and I encourage you to make the move to the cloud for your backups.