Genuine Curiosity

Author Dwayne Melancon is always on the lookout for new things to learn. An ecclectic collection of postings on personal productivity, travel, good books, gadgets, leadership & management, and many other things.

 

Not that I don’t like a crappy tune now and again...

Everywhere I go, I see a common problem. Lots of people don't know how to:

  1. Silence the ringers on their mobile phones
  2. Stop them mid-ring once they begin ringing

This morning, for example, I was in line at the doctor's office and the woman in front of me got a phone call. She didn't want to answer it, didn't want to open up her flip phone to stop if for fear that opening the phone might answer the call, and didn't know what else to do.

So, we all sat and listened to her ringer for 5 cycles of the song ("Livin' la vida loca") while she squirmed and looked around uncomfortably. I offered to show her how to mute it, but she just wanted to be invisible and pretend it never happened.

Now, I happen to be lucky enough to own a Treo 650 which has the smartest thing I've ever seen on a phone: An external switch that mutes the ringer and speaker on the phone. No digging through a zillion menus, etc. -- just click it off like a light switch.

If you aren't so fortunate, please take a few minutes to learn how to turn off the ringer on your phone (warning: you may actually have to read the manual - don't worry, most phone vendors have PDF copies online).

Invoking blessed silence:

The technique will vary depending on the phone you own:

  • On some phones, you must create a "Silent" profile and switch to it when you want to be quiet
  • On some phones, there is a shortcut key you can hold (often the # key) to toggle between vibrating alerts and audible alerts
  • On others, you may have to hit a few buttons to get down into the depths of your phone's menus to turn off the audible ringer

There are other alternatives, too:

  • Some phones (some Motorola models, for example) have ring modes that begin as a vibrating alert, then transition to an audible ring if they aren't answered - best of both worlds, and another excellent feature implementation.
  • Choose a ring tone that doesn't make a lot of noise at the beginning but gets a bit louder as it goes on (Nokia's "Persuasion" comes to mind)

But I've forgotten to do that and the darn thing is ringing - what do I do?

Yes, I've forgotten to turn off my ringer from time to time and I understand you want the noise to stop, too. But there are alternatives to listening to 6 repeats of the electronic theme from Baywatch.

Most important take away of this rant - most mobile phones will immediately stop ringing mid-ring when you do one of two things:

  1. Press the volume key on the side of the phone
  2. Press the "End Call" button (usually a button with a little red handset on it)

So give it a try this weekend. Call your mobile phone from home and see how quickly you can mute it - it's a wonderful skill to have.

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Thank you, Pop

"America's fighting men and women sacrifice much to ensure that our great nation stays free. We owe a debt of gratitude to the soldiers that have paid the ultimate price for this cause, as well as for those who are blessed enough to return from the battlefield unscathed."

--Allen Boyd

It's Memorial Day weekend in the US, and a time to reflect on those who've fought and died for our country. And for all of their sacrifices, I am thankful beyond words.

In considering the quote above, it's important to remember that even those who return from the battlefield don't return unscathed. My grandfather had nightmares for about 50 years following the war, dreaming he was still aboard his bombed ship, searching frantically for a life jacket.

Thank you, Pop - for everything. You did what was right -- what was needed -- and I'm a better man for having known you.

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Reinventions at Work and in Business: a Ho‘ohana Community Forum

From time to time, each of us experiences overwhelming, daunting, or frightening tasks. You know the kind - you don't even know where to begin. Last year, I read a book (The War of Art) that talked about a "force" that it called "The Resistance" which describes this phenomenon perfectly.

Sometimes, it's tough to get started because you have no clue what to do, or how to do it.So how do you overcome The Resistance? The first step is always the hardest - because that is where you must overcome the momentum of the easiest choice - doing nothing. As tempting as it is to procrastinate, most of the time these daunting tasks don't just go away.

Get clear on what you really need to do

In his book Getting Things Done, David Allen talks about how we get "stuck" on projects and planning because we aren't clear on the goals and activities required (paraphrasing, "We don't know what done means, and we haven't figured out what doing looks like.") He offers excellent advice: Sit down and establish a crisp definition of the outcome you are trying to achieve - only then, can you begin to divine the steps and resources required to get there.

Another variation on this from Stephen Covey, in his 7 Habits, tells us to "Begin with the end in mind." Again, figure out what you want to achieve to get yourself unstuck and moving in the right direction.

Get some help

Whether it's doing your taxes, estate planning, or getting a project going sometimes we can all use some help. There are a plethora of options available to us, such as:

Outsource

Seek professional help. For financial matters, you might benefit from a professional tax preparer, a fee-only financial advisor, or an estate planning expert. You can often gain access to these people through organizations with which you're affiliated like credit unions, wholesale shopping clubs, or professional organizations.

These resources can also help you clarify your goals, provide expert advice based on the experiences of others, and useful things like that.

Network

Ask people you know for help. Whether you know them via work, community involvement, the blogging community, or other means, you can often find people who've had experience dealing with the same issue you're wrestling with. Why re-invent the wheel? Reach out and ask them for advice or help.

By the way, if you "get clear on what you really need to do" before you reach out, you'll increase your chance of success.

Engage If this is a work-related project, call a meeting and solicit help in getting things rolling. For maximum effectiveness, clarify your desired outcome ahead of time and pre-announce that via your meeting invitation. Also, clarify the purpose of the meeting (brainstorming, making a decision, creating a project plan, etc.), and communicate your expectations of the attendees so they show up ready to contribute in appropriate ways.
Take small bites

If a project seems overwhelming, maybe you're being too aggressive or optimistic. Consider whether you can break it up into smaller projects. One of the things I've learned from my work in the software industry is that there is often a ton of value in using a "go ugly early" strategy to show some project and establish visible momentum. This helps you achieve a sense of accomplishment, enables you to recruit supporters and more resources with less effort, and can help you detect flaws in judgement before you've invested too much time and energy in the project.

Create a forcing event

There is nothing like a deadline to drive activity. Consider making an external commitment to getting your project done. Announce to your team, customers, or other "audiences" when you'll deliver something, and you'll often find that it provides that extra bit of motivation to get you off your butt and get to work.

A variation of this is calling a meeting for which you need to produce something (a plan, update, or presentation). Get it done, or you look bad - ego is a powerful tool, when used in this way.

Study up

Sometimes, it's tough to get started because you have no clue what to do, or how to do it. While you can "Get some help" as described above, you may decide that you'd rather address your own lack of skills instead. Again, there are a lot of resources out there, including:

  • e-learning
  • your public library
  • local community colleges
  • books
  • courses offered through professional organizations

If what you're doing will provide you with reusable skills that advance your career or give you personal satisfaction, this is a great option.

Share what you know

Help yourself by helping others. You can build your network of resources and create more leverage in your life by sharing what you know.

When someone asks you to become part of their network you (by definition) extend your own network.

So how about it? what do you do to overcome The Resistance?

Related posts:

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Interesting Finds: May 24, 2006 PM edition

Gretchen at the Happiness Project has some excellent advice regarding how to make a good first impression. Some of the items on her list include:
  • ask questions and follow up on people's remarks; and in doing so, focus on opinions and feelings, not just facts

  • try to find common experiences or interests

  • share observations about everyday life

The rest of the list gets even better. If you've been stopping by here long enough, you may recall that this kind of "connecting" is very congruent with the things I've been preaching with regard to genuine curiosity.

There are a couple of things on Gretchen's list that push my previous observations to the next level - for example:

  • mention some vulnerabilities and laugh at yourself

  • don't dwell on the minutiae of your life, especially annoyances

  • at least at the start, focus on positive comments, not criticisms or complaints

Your next click should be to head over to Gretchen's and check out the whole list.

Though it was focused on a different topic, this list also reminds me of a conversation with a colleague of mine in the UK this week on what it takes to work effectively with business partners. Our list sounds very similar (though a lot shorter):

  • Build trust early by sharing your objectives, concerns, and vulnerabilities
  • Understand your partner's objectives, concerns, and vulnerabilities so you can support them
  • Work hard to achieve a win/win/win scenario (ideally, you win, they win, and your customers win)
  • Be prepared to share the risk with your partner - that means taking on some of their risk, not just transferring your risk to them.
  • Be prepared to share the good things, too -- revenue, glory / credit, account information, etc. -- the rewards will be far greater for you both in the long run
  • Make sure there is a long run by working hard and continuing the open communication, even when things don't go as well as expected

It's easy to hold back in relationships because we freak ourselves out with the thought of losing control, being judged, being hurt, being "tricked" or other kinds of scary things. Start by opening up and taking a few risks - nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Related:

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Tips for tippers

Tipping has got to be one of the most mysterious things for me during travel. Who do I tip? How much? It's nerve-wracking. And then, I have learned that it varies by country.

Here is my current "tip playbook" - I'd be interested to know if you have any changes, additions, comments, or different experiences to share.

Category US International Differences
Bellhop $1 per bag if they handle your luggage from your vehicle to the elevator / reception. Add $1 per bag if they take them all the way to your room. Local currency equivalent to US.
Maid / Chamber Maid Though not many people do this, I have heard that a good rule of thumb is the equivalent of $2 per day. Local currency equivalent to US.
Waiter

15-18% of bill, for good service. 20-25% for exceptional service. 10% for average service.

I also have a "rule of thumb" where I generally won't tip less than $2 for table service, regardless of how much I spend.

 Local currency equivalent to US, but gratuities / service fees are often included in the bill in some countries. Check to make sure you aren't tipping twice. When in doubt, ask them "if service is included in the total."
Shuttle Drivers

$2-3 if they are helpful. Add $1 per bag if they help with luggage.

If their shuttle service saves you cab fare, consider a $5 tip.

 Shuttles are more likely to be paid shuttles, not free shuttles. Tip equivalent to $2-3 is my rule of thumb.
Bartender A dollar per drink or %15 of the bill. Add more if they are very helpful. If it's busy, tip them anyway - they have a tough job.

Local currency equivalent to US -- generally.

However, in UK pubs with "owner/proprietors" I have had the bartender give me back my tip (on quite a number of occasions) saying things like, "I own this place - you don't need to tip me."

Taxi Typically 15% of the fare, unless they get lost or go a way that I know is unnecessarily inefficient. Then I drop to 10% or so. If I get good advice or extra help getting to an appointment where I'm running late, I may go to 20-25%.

Generally, 15% of fare in countries where tipping is customary.

When in doubt, I ask "Do you typically get tips from your fares? How much?" I find they typically fall in the 15% range.

In the UK and Holland, I have had taxi drivers tell me they usually get tipped for short fares, but not for longer ones. Not sure if this is consistent or anomalous.

Barber / Stylist Typically 15-20% of the check. I don't know - I lived in Holland for a while but I just don't remember and generally don't get my hair cut abroad.
Parking Valet $2-4 if they are retrieving your car for you. $1-2 if they are just handing you the keys. Local currency equivalent to US, from my limited experience - though I don't often valet park internationally - I tend to take taxis more often.
Shoe shine At least $2 - more if they are very helpful or do a fantastic job (I'm particular about my shoes - I had two lousy shine jobs in the Chicago airport, for example and I'll never get my shoes shined there again). Local currency equivalent to US.
That's a starter guide, with the caveat that these are based on my own experience and opinions. What about you - do you know of any additional categories, variations from my guide, etc?

I'd love to hear from you.

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